It's fun you should try It. (Or not) Part 3

  So, here we are again, in part 1 we uncovered the anguish and joy of fishing. In part 2 we uncovered the terror and joy of kayaking. So now, the time has come to explore the tremendous potential for joy, terror, anguish, happiness, peace, stress, and other emotions associated with the wild idea of combining the 2 sports in a union as cohesive and unified an experience as you might expect when a cranky coyote meets a grumpy bobcat. It is simply and accurately called kayak fishing, that is fishing for fish from a kayak, not fishing for kayaks from a fish. 

  Let's unpack this for a bit, firstly, you pack all the gear you might need for kayaking, the important life vest, paddle, and some system for getting water to your face. Also, you may want sunglasses. Secondly you pack all the gear you need for fishing, all the poles you might need plus one, tackle, maybe bait, and a system to hold your victims if you plan to eat them. This system, be it a cooler or a bag, needs to be sized in a strategic way to be large enough to hold your victims, and small enough to fit on the kayak without you needing to swim, dragging the kayak behind you. Lastly, you may want to pack an electronic fish finder system of some sort if ony to prove to all the bass boats that you are also a fishing man (woman?) of taste and sophistication, and not  merely a shouty plastic riding speed bump. Then again, as one of my associates demonstrated, the best way to get noticed is by flying a large "don't tread on me" flag. There is a question as to whether this flag gets you the appropriate attention, it may be wise to not use this flag in California or New York waters....

  Now, you have loaded up your kayak? Good, go use the bathroom, there is a certain annoyance involved in having invested this much time in loading up only to have to paddle to shore at some secluded place, negotiating walking space with the snakes after only 15 minutes on the water. Done hiding in the woods? Good, now set off, you will notice that the fish rather cruelly hide, you cannot expect the biggest bass in the lake to surface a quarter mile away and yell across the waters that he is in fact there and will bite on a certain curly tailed pink thing. Not doing this gives them an unfair advantage, for you paddle over there, and you cast, as you cast you notice a phenomenon. The kayak, which seemed like work to move while you were holding a paddle, now refuses to stop moving when you have a fishing pole in hand, so you must decide if you fish where the kayak wants to or where you want to. Neither you or it have any idea where the biggest fish in the lake is. It knows, but it will not tell. Thus you must grimly wipe the sweat from your brow, decide your having fun and ponder which implement to strike the water with next. The paddle to go somewhere you are not, or the pole to cast back to the place you once were. 

  Now let's discuss the things not fish you may catch. You gaze along the shoreline, you see shallow water under the trees that the big boats have not been, you maneuver your kayak into position and quietly beseech it to hold still, then with a graceful flick of the wrist you plop your lure right in...but there is no splash, you look up and behold, you have caught an oak tree. You remember the wise things your mom taught you about not saying unkind or profane things, you remember that you can actually afford to buy a new lure, and you frantically whack about like one in a rage until the tree releases your lure in a flurry of leaves, you duck as the lure makes an enraged swipe at your face, then wonder if fighting off enraged fishing lures ever caused a life jacket to get tested by a cranky and now very wet fisherman. Speaking of catching things, my favorite fishing associate, commonly known as the wife came up with a creative way to be exempt from the all the poles you need plus one rule. She had pioneered a technique where in she cast but the lure refused to leave the kayak, due to having caught the other pole, not in use. This then called for outside assistance because the tangle is hard to reach without risking a chance of conducting a field test on your life jacket. So the outside assistant paddled up and assisted, and then cautiously suggested she only carry one pole at a time. 

  Lastly, there is the occasional actual fish catch, the fish fights and at times tows the kayak around, it is brought on board and acts as if it were in a life and death situation, which it may very well be. You realize that with this enraged creature in this confined space you are in a wet or dry situation with a 30% chance of pain from the stingers or fins. You also realize that you are having fun with God in the world He created and this catastrophic combining of 2 hobbies has banished all sense of boredom from your life, at least until you get tired. So this then is fun.