Jesus was serious about the word He used for poor. If my Bible is accurate, the word He used speaks to being like a beggar, reaching for, begging for, it leads you to think of one destitute and desperate. The word spirit can be used to refer to a breath, as in maybe a breath of life, the rational soul/mental disposition, an attitude, or an angelic/demonic being. Here in this context it seems it would refer to the inner part of a person, the inner life, the defining nature or attitude and as part of the inner life, the identity of the person. It is that unexplainable something in a person that makes them eternal, and causes them to desire to worship something, or someone, and all do it, they may worship science, or intellect, or material things, or the Lord, or some other god. It creates the differences that keep humans from ever being animals, it causes humans to think, imagine, and look higher and ask things like, "Why are we here?" instead of just asking like an animal, "What's for lunch?"
So, let's think of spirit as identity in this specific context. Let's consider the possibility that being high in Spirit is selfish. Self-ish. Someone who is focused on self, their person, identity etc. Now, to clarify further, soul in a person is generally the heart, or where the feelings, mind, and will are. With what you are about to read, consider that yes there are soul influences here, For example, if we feel things from our soul, the question then is, what do we do with those feelings, do we react in such a way that preserves, protects, values ourself? Or do we not have a "self" of our own?
Your author struggles with church services when he is expected to sit on a chair/pew and do nothing but listen to another take on some theology he has heard 1000s of times, and if none of the worship songs move him, that makes it worse, it's on those dry days that I am tempted to pull out my smartphone and read something that stimulates my mind and peaks my interest. This is a red flag to me that I might still have to much spirit. It's when I cave in to these things, that I am physically demonstrating an excess of spirit. I manifest selfishness, and convey that church is supposed to humor or entertain me. My person/identity/life is important and I need you to make this time sitting here worth my while. (This is not intended to say smartphones are wrong and that church meetings are all good and never boring, let the Lord show you if their is a meeting you should respectfully leave or if your just being to spirited on a case by case basis.) When I am lacking in spirit, I take on the posture of the sponge, whatever the Lord wants to fill me with, I will leave dripping wet in it, for my spirit is poor and dry without Him. The person who is poor in spirit is not bogged down with needing stuff from other people to fill him, he doesn't have a "life" or deep seated attitude or push to be someone going somewhere apart from what he is filled with. He is the empty vessel for the Lord to fill. So, the Lord looks for these empty vessels and gives the Kingdom to them. These empty vessels go to the Lord, because where else would they go? All the things that pull us away from the Lord have to do with ourself. Our own spirit that needs to be stroked, maintained, groomed, polished, fed.
A lot of christians today love Jesus, but their lives are not lined up with the Kingdom way. Why not? The spirit is not poor. It goes something like this, "Yes, I get it, I sinned, and I still do, the Lord is just but so kind and full of grace. So He died for me, I accept this gift and I love Jesus so much for what He did. I will happily go to church for a few hours every Sunday and dutifully clap and cheer at the word grace. However, please don't preach some of these other uncomfortable things that Jesus said, I might have to call you religous, legalistic, or talk about context to make it stop. See, those things interfere with my life and way." This line of thinking frustrates me, for this person will never experience the actual joy and fulfillment of repentance and drawing closer to the Kingdom way. This is a person who loves grace, and I feel like laying to them the charge of worshipping or idolizing the grace of Christ rather than Christ Himself. This person has a big spirit, a need to polish/wax/feed/dress and generally babysit his spirit for 6 days and tithe a few hours to the Lord as a thank you for the free grace. Often times the things he does are good and noble things, but missing the point completely when done from his spirit instead of done from an organic place of being filled of the Lord.
Now when I write about the hypothetical man in the previous paragraph, there is a certain older brother syndrome that wants to gnaw at me, and wants me to look down on him, and judge him as lesser. This something wants me to use him as a case to bolster my own place and identity. Shall I agree with this? God forbid, that is another aspect of having to much spirit. It goes something like, "I will carefully read and grasp the truths of God's word, and through the power of my discipline, I will be the best person, the best christian I know." This isn't an organic act from the Lord, this is idolizing good works! This is yet another way to feed/clothe/polish and exercise our own spirits. Far be this rich-spirited living from us.
The idea of being poor in Spirit can be thought of as a way of saying, unselfish, or the opposite of selfish. For, your identity in your own self is not something that you seek to protect, it is something that is poor in comparision to the desire to let the Holy Spirit in. The question could be framed this way then: Is my spirit poor enough that the Holy Spirit is allowed to take the reins over from my spirit in my life, even to the point of my very own identity? Is my spirit poor enough to allow the Holy Spirit to spread out and renew my mind, will emotions, and my whole soul? Is my spirit poor enough to allow the Holy Spirit to then keep spreading and even inform the way I treat my body, even down to the things I eat, drink, and wear? If your spirit is so poor, that the Holy Spirit takes the reins in all these areas, your identity will change, your identity will no longer be, such and such good religious person, or this high powered businessman, or this "very funny life of the party" girl. You may very well do and be known by those things in life by people on the outside watching who don't really know what's inside, but your identity will be son/daughter of the only true God, a sold out disciple in the Kingdom way, all things else are second to this. Is this ok? If so, keep reading.
What then is the answer/antidote to rich/high-spiritedness? Well, you can try to squash it and sit on it, but you'll find in that exercise, another "to much spirit syndrome," where you are willing yourself to goodness to carve for yourself an identity as a better person. So, it goes back to that emotional, messy, painful, and yet shockingly simple procedure known as surrender. If you want to keep your own high levels of spirit for now you may stop here and revisit once your ready to let it go. I want mine gone though, this chapter has convicted me. If you are still reading, then I assume you want to surrender it to the Lord as well. So let's surrender it to Him, Lord Jesus, I thank you for all you have done for me, and today, I see that I have yet to much of my own spirit. Lord, you can have it, take it out of my glass, I cannot make it go away, I can only medicate it and squash it, so I ask you to take it by whatever surgery it takes, in other words, I surrender, again. I thank you Lord for what You are going to do.
Amen!
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