The Deadly Power of Routine

 I am a star, not the biggest one, but the one that you care about. Your world revolves around me in a systematic way. If you get to close to me, you will learn what global warming actually is, and then you'll die. If you drift to far from me, you'll learn about global cooling, and then you'll die. If you vary your pace, your calendars will no longer work. Thankfully for you, the Lord installed this routine and so it has been very reliable. I am the sun and I don't really care about you. I just sit here in space while your earth's routine does its' thing. Your earth's routine doesn't care about you either, but again, thankfully for you, the Lord cared for you when He designed this routine.

 Living with me, you roll out of bed at 7:50, you rush through your morning to get to work on time. You get home and spend your evenings playing games, with no lasting value. You consume social media, and shallow videos. You have no time left to fellowship with God or prepare good food. Living with me, you are slowly dying, inside and out, and your relationship with God is cooling. I am your daily routine, and I don't really care about you.

 Living with me, you get up in good time, to talk with and more importantly, listen to God. You prepare a good healthy meal and make your way to work in good spirits. In the evenings you take time to read and study things of lasting value and exercise. Living with me, you are finding more and more life inside and out, and your relationship with God is growing warm, like a hot summer day. I am your daily routine, and I don't really care about you. Yet, you don't care about me either, If I don't serve your daily needs anymore, you discard me for a new one. 

 I am why you scurry to a building every morning and sleep through (Sometimes you even physically sleep!) singing and preaching for a couple hours, then leave feeling glad it's over and ready to watch football. I also give you that feeling of piety, like you tithed your time to God for the week. Yet, your relationship with God is cold, so cold, your most remarkable gift comes from the enemy and it is that of hypocrisy, you appear right and yet are so wrong. I am your church routine, and I don't really care about you. Yet, you would be lost without me, for I have become your master, and you serve me.

 I am how, not why you actively pursue worshipping God in teaching and music on the weekends. I am how, not why you seek fellowship with other people. You love the church, and the church loves you. You know God as that best friend that walks you through all of life's trials. You would be lost without Him. The church you see as your brothers and sisters in Christ, and you intend to gather with them in whatever way the Lord allows. As for me, I am only your church routine. I don't care about you, and you don't care about me. As soon as I don't serve your spiritual needs, you discard me for another, for I serve you. 

 Routine: a sequence of actions regularly followed; a fixed program.

 So, I submit to you the notion that all our routines should be given to the Lord, and that we only adopt those routines that He gives us or wants us to have. I also believe that when a man made routine devolves into a thing of importance, that it becomes incredibly dangerous. Whenever your routine matters more than people, check with God, something has gone horribly wrong. Do routines serve you, God, and the people in your life, or do you serve it and sacrifice your other relationships on its' altar? I am writing to you as someone who had a trashy routine over the thanksgiving break and am eager to settle into a healthier one again. So, I am not perfect. 

 This article has been exclusively focused on personal life routines, but, there are applications to be made in other areas, especially, the church. I hope to write more on that later. Here is a question, what would happen if one Sunday you decided to not go to church? What if you decided on that Sunday, you would take a rest day from any religious exercise and just talk with God conversationally? What would happen? Would you feel guilty? If no, Are you sure you wouldn't? If yes, Are you willing to test that theory? If no, Why not? Does it sound like I don't think we should fellowship anymore? I don't mean that at all, but what I am after, is this, let's use routines, but let's not be used by them anymore. The beauty of routine is when they help life flow, the deadly power of routine is when they rule life. How do you know if a routine rules your life or not? One question might be this. Can you do without the routine. For example, can you have a meaningful church life, which I will practically define as, frequent fellowship with brothers and sisters in Christ, and worship of God, in prayer, teaching, or music. If you cannot, pray about this. If you can, and haven't tested it then talk to God about when maybe you should test it. I had it tested against my wishes and found out that sadly, I was routine dependent, and now, I am so thankful, and so glad, that I no longer have to be dependent on a church as defined by the world with a building and name for church life as defined by the New Testament ekklesia which is a gathering of God's children. With no dependence on routine, a church life can begin to experience all the fullness God would desire for you, and routines may come and go, but the relational life with God and your brothers and sisters in Him carries on and on and on and on and on..and on......and on..........................

 On a personal note, one thing in my daily routine is coffee. Sadly, I might be dependent on it. So, I have not arrived, I am learning with you. 

Hierarchy vs Servanthood

 "I have the authority, and I have the power. I can control this man, if I want to. This man plans to sell me over to my enemies for 30 coins. My loyal followers have no idea what is about to go down, and they don't have the guts to do much about it anyway. Tonight, I am planning to show them communion. I will show them to eat and drink in memory of me. This hypocrite will be there. He will eat and drink with me too, that is unless I have an angel strike him down first. Should I do it? That is the question. It would be right, fair, and just. This man really has no idea who he is messing with. He really has no clue how much authority I have. I guess, killing him would be drastic, but, with my authority and power, I could at least freeze him into a salt block until the crisis is past and then restore him to health again. After the miracles he watched me do, he should have some clue, but... anyway, we have a room rented and so I will go now...." -An imagining of what the Lord might have thought right before John 13.

 So Jesus, God in flesh dined with Judas, He washed his betrayer's feet, and then dismissed him during communion, He was nothing but kindness and love to this man. Why? Well....there are many possible answers, and a lot of them are probably true. However for this instance, I want to put forth what I get out of this. Let's examine that subtle and sneaky difference between hierarchy, servanthood and authority. 

 Authority: This speaks to having an ability to control or influence through having a superior understanding, a superior power, or being placed in a position of influence. So, for example, a historian might gain authority in studying a lot. (Superior knowledge) He would then be able to have some measure of control or leverage over your understanding of history by teaching you. Yet, a certain stocky British cigar puffing man named Winston Churchill would have had more authority concerning affairs from the British effort in World War 2, because of his position of influence, and the power he had to have big things done by orders from that position. Furthermore, if you were specifically interested in the British thought and policy on a large scale throughout the war, you would want to hear from Churchill, for, he lived it. Yet, the random historian might give you a better understanding on the nuances of the Crimean war, for he studied it. One can know from study, and one can know even better from living it. This increases authority. One can have authority from a position of influence as well. Even if your friendly and benevolent government (sarcasm alert!) has very little understanding of why putting a catalytic converter on a string trimmer is a very bad idea, I tolerate it and sell it anyway for they have the authority to encourage me to do so by presenting heavy fines or prison time as the cost of having a non-catalytic string trimmer to sell to my customers. (I will now digress before I get started on a rant about emission regulations.)

 Worldlike Authority (Hierarchy): This is authority with impudence. The world loves this thing, it combines authority with the actual desire to control. So, if I were to remove the catalytic from the string trimmers I want to sell because I think it's better this way. (IT IS BETTER!!! Ok, never mind...) Then the mighty hand of gubmint unleashes powerful punishments to cause me to ponder very seriously changing my mind and keeping the catalytic installed. Another notion would be a power hungry history teacher giving you failing grades on your test because he can and doesn't like you, without submitting to truth and grading your tests based on what the truth is. Yet, another example would be the power hungry church leader, making rules that go beyond scriptural teaching, and then pulling various political levers to get someone excommunicated from the church for disobeying these rules. From the Mennonite perspective, that could be, discipline over head covering size, or excommunication over clothing patterns. It isn't exactly wrong to agree to a standard of conduct, but when we reach beyond the purview of God's laws and ways as outlined by Him in scripture, then think about the position it puts the leaders into. They are asked to be hierarchical in order to enforce it. Is that right? Well, let's look again at how Jesus related to Judas. You tell me. Is it right for your church to be a more accurate reflection of the nature of government overreach than a reflection of the nature of Jesus? This is not to say we tolerate sin. Jesus did dismiss Judas to do his deed, so we separate people given over to the world from the church, by identifying them as such. Yet, we don't hold over them extra laws to shame them into line, that is an old practice the Pharisees used. If there are extra circular laws, how can you separate someone who is a weak Christian from the church without being all Pharisaical/hierarchical about it? 

 Christlike Authority (Servanthood): This is authority with meekness. If implement in Washington DC, the government would actually be transparent with us about what is and is not true in regards to emissions, and policies would be designed that would be in the best interests of all. The free market could live, breath, move, and have it's being so to speak...ok, I'd better stop. This would mean the historian would teach history for the love of his/her students. Classes would be interesting, teacher would actually be helpful, serving the needs of students and doing everything in her power and authority from vast quantities of knowledge in her personal studies of history to help her students thrive, and learn, and succeed. Yes hopefully even beyond her. This is what Jesus modeled with His disciples, He gave Judas every chance, and He always called the disciples to be who the Lord called them to be. This would be a church leader using all the authority from his knowledge, position, and power, to call you to be who you were created to be, he would be holding down a rope for you to grab to help you climb the mountain of life. When the rope goes slack, he prays that it is because you are catching up with him, yes even to pass him in authority in some form, and not because you have let go. With the hierarchical leader, you will typically found him behind you, with a whip so to speak. 

 

 What about you? Me? Let's not beat up on churches, leaders, or government. I apologize for any vinegar that spilled over back there that was not in good humor and out of line. Regardless of any circumstance, of any unjust treatment from authorities in our lives, do we manifest the nature of a disciple of Jesus Christ or the nature of the rebellious slave? If it is the slave, pray for sanctification, don't try to fix yourself by the power of your will, ask God to do an authentic work in your soul. With those in your authority, are you manifesting Christ's servanthood or the heavy booted rule of the average Pharisee? Again, if the Pharisee, then pray for sanctification, don't try to fix yourself by the power of your will, ask God to do an authentic work in your soul.

“I tell you the truth, anyone who believes in me will do the same works I have done, and even greater works, because I am going to be with the Father." -Jesus, Yeshua, Messiah, Lord

Surrendering Rightness for Righteousness

 Fredrick Trabajador from the chapter on Surrendering Our Margins had a decision to make. It had been 10 years since his financial collapse and Billson had really helped him out. Now, Fredrick had money laid aside from his wages. He was facing a choice. One of the young men from the boys retreat many years ago was up against it. This young man had spent all he had on a promising investment, and that investment had flopped. He had foolishly made the mistakes that Fred had warned him against from his own painful experiences. He hadn't been living with meekness, and now he was asking for help. If he didn't get help, he would lose everything, just like Fred did. Fred thought to himself, "It is only right that he loses everything, and that he learns the hard way, I had to. It's only fair." He prayed for this boy, and something deep inside himself said, "It is only right that the boy learns the hard way, but, is it righteous? No, it is not, the boy has learned his lesson. I have put you here to help this boy." Fredrick responded, "But it's not right! I worked hard, and I am just now starting over, after 10 years of working for Billson and him owning all my things, it is not right for me to work so hard and for him to get a ticket out of it!" The still small voice came again, "No, it is not right, but, it is righteous." Fred gave in to the voice, and showed the boy mercy. The young man was so grateful, he asked Fred to mentor him. Then Fred told him the story, of how those years ago, he had it all, and how deep and dark his despair was when he lost it. He told him how he was about to let the young man fall into the same despair but the Lord insisted that the boy needs him now. The boy was shaken, he confided to Fred that he was about to jump off the dock at the lake and end it all when some small invisible voice told him to go home and check his mail first, that's when Fred's letter and the check came. Now Fred was shaken, and he had learned a valuable lesson, his rightness was never to be confused with the Lord's righteousness. Fred's rightness had justice in it. The Lord's righteousness had justice and mercy in it. 

 So, this is a follow up of sorts to the previous chapter about Righteousness. It is also an introduction of sorts to the next chapter about mercy. Fred was right. He knew what it was like, his life had showed him that you could go to financial ruin, and walk through the shame and come out stronger by the grace of God. In all this, he became a better person, a better reflection of Christ, and so, he knew it all to be true, and he was exactly right. Yet, the Lord saw all things, and he knew the younger man had to much shame in his fatherless/Godless past, and was about to decide to leave this world. The Lord knew all things, and so He knew that the righteous thing was to activate mercy, but Fred only knew the right thing. So it was, that Fred was hungry enough for righteousness to talk to God, and the Holy Spirit filled him with righteousness. Fred had to give up on what was right though. To be clear, there could just as easily be a situation where a "Fred" would be inclined to bail the young man out, but the Lord says, "No, he must keep doing it his way, for he has not yet learned". So, I want us to always remember, righteousness is what the Lord sees and believes, and if He believes it, then, it is true. It is not a formula that can be copied and pasted. 

 Rightness: Worldly righteousness, the just, and fair thing based on available human evidence and reasoning, it comes from God to a degree for He created the world and established moral laws in the order of things and in how they work. 

Righteousness: The Lord's way of seeing things, and His truth. It includes rightness, but yet transcends it completely because it is from the nature of One divine, all knowing, and all seeing. This then is the complete picture. 

 Here is the question ultimately, do you want your rightness or the Lord's righteousness? It might mean you actually know less. It might call you to not lean on your own understanding of things, It might call to live moment by moment, asking God what to do when up against "it", instead of "having the answers for "it" before it happens." So, in a way, it could cause you to give up some or maybe all of "your answers for all the "its" in your life." If you want the Lord's righteousness, pray with me: Lord, today I thank you for the rightness you have shown me, and for establishing moral laws that make the world a tolerable and beautiful place, but today, I surrender all that rightness, and all my notions and knowledge of things, and in that void, I am hungry, and thirsty for your righteousness. I thank you for what you are about to do, and in all the complex problems and all my "its" in this world, I choose today to wait on your righteousness. 

Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding.

This has been Chapter 9 of Surrender!? To Who?

Trading "Smarts" for Righteousness

  The Lord Jesus Christ continued His talk, after He said the meek would inherit the earth, He went on to say, "Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled."

So, this is pretty self explanatory, those who are hungry and thirsty for righteousness will be satisfied. What is righteousness? It is the way that seems right to God. The Lord created this place, this world. He knows what is best, and what He says, is right. When you are truly starving and your throat is truly parched, what else will do? You want food, and water. Jesus Christ knew what it truly meant to be hungry. He fasted for 40 days. The devil tempted Him with food, "Turn these rocks into bread." he said. Yet Jesus stayed on mission, for the devil's charms were not what He was after. The devil eventually showed Christ all the kingdoms of the world, and offered them all to Him in exchange for worshiping the devil himself. Christ said no, and told the devil to get lost (my words). Yet, in all that, Jesus never denied that the devil had/has the authority to give the kingdoms of the world over to Him. So it is, that a hunger and thirst after righteousness tends to run in contrast to hunger and thirst after this world.

AD 52 (Fictionalized)

Nomikis couldn't believe what Fileph had done! In town last week, the pagans had another big fire to their god. Nomikis knew this was demonic! Why, these people were out of control, this god was made of stone, or wood, Nomikis didn't know he stayed away from such demonic paganism. During this big fire, the people grilled meat on their altar, for their god. However, their god couldn't eat it obviously. Nomikis knew that he worshiped the true God, the Lord Jesus Christ, and so when he thought of all this, he felt a little sick. After the big sacrifice, the pagans sold the meat for cheap. Again, Nomikis never bought it, he wanted no part of this demonic worldy thing in his body, ever. PERIOD! Well, so it was, that he had gone to his best friend Fileph's place for supper and there Fileph had fed both families some choice steaks. Nomikis was shocked at how he had managed to aquire such an expensive fare. Fileph said with a chuckle, "Well, if you go down after idol sacrifice, you get a good deal. Their god can't eat it y'know." Nomikis was speechless, how could he? He felt sick, he ate this awful stuff! Fileph had pleaded with him, and apologized for the offense, but Nomikis had to leave. Their was a rift there, and it was all over a chunk of meat from the world....

AD 2023 (Fictionalized)

Besmint couldn't believe what Kompy had done! There had been a vaccine mandate circling around and there was a lot of pressure to get "the jab". Bestmint's sources had assured him that this thing wasn't safe, and he wondered why they were forcing it. Was it a practice run for the mark of the beast? Besmint didn't know, but he was sure something dark and demonic was going on. Well, Besmint had drawn his line in the sand, he had fought the mask mandates tooth and nail. It had cost him, he couldn't shop at many places, but it had been worth it. Now, when confronted by a potential vaccine mandate, Besmint had decided he would go to prison instead. So, here he was, in prison, a political prisoner, taking a grim stand against a tyrannical government, when suddenly the loudspeaker crackles announcing that a visitor was coming to the chapel to share the gospel. He decided to go, out of curiousity, and there was his best friend Kompy! He asked him, "How on earth did you get through all the hurdles?" Kompy was shocked! Why, just last week he had played golf with Besmint, this was a church friend, what on earth was he doing here? He wasn't a criminal, was he? Then he replied, "Well, I just did what they asked, I figure God can turn the jab into water if He needs to, ya know?" Then he saw in dismay as Besmint's face clouded over, and he stormed out of the chapel. Their was a rift there, and it was all over a shot of "questionable juice" from the world....

 "Now regarding your question about food that has been offered to idols. Yes, we know that “we all have knowledge” about this issue. But while knowledge makes us feel important, it is love that strengthens the church. Anyone who claims to know all the answers doesn’t really know very much. But the person who loves God is the one whom God recognizes."-Apostle Paul (I Corinthinans 8) 

 The pursuit of righteousness transcends this world, you think higher, you reach out for God, and His truth, for His truth is the only one that really matters. No matter what the sources of this world tell you. They do not, and cannot supplant the Lord's righteousness. To construct a righteous response to this world's dilemma calls for time in prayer, not in the news. Why prioritize prayer over the news? Because the world's "knowledge" is like a ship adrift. I can find whatever narrative I want to hear about whatever I want to hear in this world about anything. The antidote is righteousness. Righteousness is only from God, and righteousness leads to rightness, to truth, it leads to the ways of the Lord. Follow these ways doggedly, even if they look different to you from your ideas. The question is, can the Bride of Christ survive all the different opinions about the jab? Yes, if I, and you, pursue righteousness like a starving and thirsty dog! Then, Christ's promise to fill us will solve this. Regardless of whether or not the jab is right or wrong, and I make a mistake in my judgement, or you do, we shall be filled as we pursue righteousness. So it is, because Christ said it. Perhaps you will take the jab and I will not? If so, I today, am telling you, that I will repsect and love you as a brother/sister in Christ, and the jab will not tarnish the fellowship we enjoy, in Christ. Will you join me in this commitment? This is my call, let us, as the citizens from Heaven, pursue righteousness, today, tommorow, and forever. How do we pursure righteousness? By laying down all we know, and asking the Lord for His righteousness. 

 Where do I stand? Does it matter? If it does, then here goes, I don't want to take the jab, I don't like it. I don't like the mandates, and thankfully, I am not having to take it, but, if confronted with a mandate, all I know to do is ask for righteousness, before I respond with my desicion to take Besmint's stand or Kompy's compromise. 

 If you are reading this book sometime after 2025 and are wondering, "What is this fascinating guy fussing about a jab for?" Then google, "covid 19 vaccine mandate." Hopefully you will still have google and hopefully it will tell you something. ;) Then please realize this was written in 2021.

 This has been chapter 8 of Surrender!? To Who?

Position vs Calling

Position: A place where someone or something is located or has been put.

(Biblical) Calling: An invitation, or vocation, within the Lord's Kingdom. See G2821.

 The young boy was dearly beloved, his father gave him a coat of many colors, and he wore it with pride. He dreamed of his father and brothers bowing to him. His brothers hated him, his father loved him very much. Position? Beloved Son. Calling? To be the Joseph the Lord had made.

 The young man was jumped on by his brothers, and thrown into a pit. His coat was torn from him and dipped in blood. He thought they might kill him, instead they sold him as a slave, bound for Egypt. Position? Slave, even to his own brothers. Calling? To be the Joseph the Lord had made.

 The young man was sold to an Egyptian VIP, he won his favor and managed the affairs of his entire household. Position? House Manager. Calling? To be the Joseph the Lord had made.

 The young man was falsely accused and imprisoned, he eventually won the jailer's favor though and helped care for the other inmates. While here, he interpreted dreams for former servants of Pharaoh who had been imprisoned. God had shown him the meanings, and he told them what he saw.  Position? Prisoner, later, a prisoner with privileges. Calling? To be the Joseph the Lord had made.  

  The young man was released from jail. Pharaoh, or, king of Egypt had asked him to interpret some dreams, God had showed Joseph the interpretations for some dreams that some prisoners who used to serve Pharaoh had had. The dreams came true, and now king wanted to know what his dreams meant. Joseph told him, it was serious business, 7 years of prosperity, then 7 years of famine. They discussed it, and Pharaoh appointed him as second in command in Egypt. Position? Prime Minister of Egypt. Calling? To be the Joseph the Lord had made. 

 In the Church today we have positions, and we name these positions, perhaps we name these positions things like, Elder, Bishop, Apostle, Deacon, Pastor, etc. There is nothing wrong with the church having positions and appointing a brother of the group to this position through a prayerful, careful process. Click here to see what those terms meant in scripture. However, a position and a calling, are not the same thing, and to often they get confused. If I may illustrate...

 Makowski is a kind gentle soul, he runs a small business. His customers love him because he loves them, he meets their needs, is very patient, and strives with everything he has to keep his clientele satisfied with his product. Mewax is a good friend of his and drops by often to just discuss life, he is younger, both spiritually and physically, and so he looks up to Makowski and enjoys being mentored by him. Makowski's family adores their father and husband, for, unless something unforeseen arises, he shows up at the house by 6pm every night, all the worries and problems of the office are left there, and he gets on the floor and plays with the children, he actively helps tie down loose ends around the house and pursues his wife's heart. Their marriage is a shining beacon, displaying the beauty of God's way, that original pre-fall, Adam and Eve way, in a broken world of skyrocketing divorce rates, live-in relationships, and who knows what all. Makowski is also dearly loved in the church, he speaks well when called on, and he serves, oh, how he serves, with joy, to the Lord, whether it is a high profile bible school teaching or, a low profile, cleaning the church bathrooms at 8pm on a Saturday night thing, he serves with joy, for the Lord. If he has any noticeable weaknesses it is that he is to kind, to bending, he doesn't find it easy to say no in business, to his children, or to his friends, particularly, his friend Mewax. Then tragedy happens. Someone dies..... 

 Makowski is noticed by the church as someone who manifests all the qualities of a great pastor, and so he is ordained/elected/appointed pick your word, but he is made the leader of the church. The brothers and sisters lay hands on him and pray for him, he bows his head in reverence and weeps. Makowski throws himself wholly into this high calling, and gives it all he has, he serves well but, the church loses it's reach, he gives 110% but, the business starts to fray around the edges. He tries his very best, but his family begins to crack. In spite of all his efforts, his relationship with Mewax changes, and yet Mewax is not jealous, he loved the whole idea of ordaining Makowski. It's just that Mewax doesn't trust him somehow, Mewax acts like somehow, Makowski is now "to good" for him. Makowski is healthy, physically, but, a spark is gone, their is a cloud hanging over him. Everywhere he goes, people around him look at him with distrust, and suspicion, and they pick their words carefully around him. He speaks very well, but others no longer do, he begs for volunteers, to help with the church teachings, but no one comes forward, in fact, many of the men with great teaching gifts in the past, check out. He speaks on the lack of shepherding in the church, and many of the great, kind caring men talk amongst themselves of all the shepherding that is not being done by Makowski. Makowski sees a lack of hard prophetic truth, he speaks into it with fear, and trembling, but the clear eyed men with black and white vision speak with grave concern about Makowski's cautious, fearful manner and the way he sees various shades of gray when trying to present hard black and white truth. So it goes with trying to reach out, the would be apostolic types are concerned with his lack of future vision for church planting, those passionate for the lost share their concerns with each other about Makowski's constant tendency to almost exclusively focus on the hurting sheep in the church. Finally, with his business near ruins, his family held together by a thread, Makowski cracks and resigns; the church is left wondering. What happened to the old Makowski?! Where did he go? His body is here but, there is a different person in it, someone depressed, withdrawn, and hiding. Truth be told? Makowski died....the church killed him. 

 That was bleak, I'm sorry if it was to bleak but, it was partly Makowski's fault. Why? Because, pay close attention, the church put him in a position, but the whole church including Makowski, saw it as a high calling. ("...Makowski throws himself wholly into this high calling...") What was Makowski's actual calling? To be the Makowski the Lord created him to be, and that included the gifts of mercy, kindness, love, etc. that make up the true nature of a biblical pastor, so in that way, from the beginning of time, part of who Makowski was, who he was truly called to be by the Lord, was to be a pastor to all those God put in his care, positions in life? businessman, husband, father, friend, and, church leader. He always was a pastor as part of his calling whether the church saw it or not, but, then he and the church decided that his calling was now to be, THE LEADER. What did this mean? The others sat back and watched him do it all. His other positions in life were neglected. Makowski stopped being Makowski, and started trying to be THE LEADER. He couldn't. Should Makowski have been put in this position of church leader, at least in the pastoral sense, since he so clearly manifested leadership qualities and cared so well? Absolutely! Should he and the church see this position as a different calling from the calling God had given him when he accepted Christ? GOD FORBID!! No, it should have only been an additional position to the ones he had, the Makowski of business, of family, should have been the same as the Makowski of the church. I am trying to shine a light on something, if you are a leader, please seek God and just be you. Ask your congregation to let you be you if you need to. If you are not a leader, take courage and keep living in your calling, allow your leaders to be human. Volunteer to assist them, be with them, and keep being you, don't check out. Their calling to be them, will never ever take away from your calling to be you. (Even if they act like it does.) Was Makowski flawed in his inability to speak bold truth? Yes, of course, but, that was all the more reason he needed allies and support from his brothers who were strong where he was weak. 

P. S. I'm not talking about your situation. Your pastor or former pastor is not called Makowski. ;) If you feel targeted, pray about it, and feel free to talk to me. 

Planetary Drive Innovations, Toyota's Hybrid, Fendt's Vario

Part 1, Definitions:

Let's define the picture above.

The red toothy ring is called a ring gear. 

The 3 blue gears are called planet gears, they are attached to a gray plate that makes them all turn as one unit. This plate is called the planet carrier. 

Then the small yellow gear in the center is called the sun gear. The whole system is called a planetary gearset. The thing that is unique about a planetary gearset is, if you turn one, it affects the whole system. For example, if you turn the planet carrier, then the whole system turns. If you turn the planet carrier and hold the ring gear, then the sun must turn. By turning and/or holding various items you can make it do a whole bunch of things. More on this later. To see it work, watch this video.

Many of the items below deserve their own articles to fully explain how they work, but for now oversimplified definitions to keep in mind for this article are:

ICE=internal combustion engine, gas or diesel. I will call it ICE in this article so that I don't have to differentiate between gas and diesel all the time. 

Hydro/hydraulic/hydrostatic pump=A device that moves fluid to turn a hydraulic/hydrostatic/hydro motor

Hydraulic/hydrostatic/hydro motor=a device that turns a tire or a gear with fluid from the pump. 

Electric Motor=A device that turns a gear or wheel just like a hydro motor but uses electricity to turn instead of fluid. 

Generator=An electric motor that produces electricity for a battery. 

Battery=Essentially a storage tank for electricity. 

MG/motor-generator=An electric motor that is also a generator depending on the situation.

Transmission=A complicated mechanism that converts raw speed from a motor into slow, useful torque for the wheels by a means of many gearsets, clutches, shift mechanisms, torque converters etc to create anywhere from around 3-10 gear ratios. 

Gear ratio=The amount of times the motor(s) turn in order to make the tires turn once. The higher that number is, the more torque the machine has at the tires. The lower that number is, the more speed the machine has at the tires. 

Speed=How fast the tires are spinning. Usually measured in miles per hour of machine speed on the dashboard.

Torque=How much force the tires are putting to the ground. Or, how hard it would be to stall the machine. Usually not measured at the tires, and therefore a little confusing to understand for many people. If a machine is sitting on rough concrete and has nearly unlimited traction so it cannot spin. When pulling a heavy pallet piled up with steel weights. If everything is the same, otherwise, the machine that has the most torquey gear ratio, (higher number, lower speed) stands the best chance of actually dragging the pallet, while the other machine with out the torquey ratio can not. 

CVT/continuously variable transmission=A transmission that has infinite gear ratios between its torquiest ratio and its fastest ratio. The belt drive system like an ATV is a CVT as well, but has a different gearing system than the ones described in this article. It deserves a separate article. 

Range Gears=An extra gear system added to a transmission to create a new set of gear ratios. For example, a pickup with a 6 speed transmission and 4wd has a low range, called 4low. When doing serious off-roading putting the truck in 4low cuts its to speed down to about 60 mph but gives you 6 gears just for off-roading, these 6 gears are all lower and torquier than the same 6 gears would be in 2wd. In this way, the ratio range gear system has given the truck 12 gears total. 

Part 2, The electric innovation:

 

Toyota has developed this in the Prius, and have called it a hybrid, but now it is spreading like a certain Chinese virus I call the 'rony through their vehicle lineup and now vehicles that I might actually buy have it. So, I decided to educate myself on how it works, and I was impressed. In this system, there is no front drive transmission, and I don't miss it, those tend to be a little complex and fragile. Instead we have a second battery, usually stowed under the back seat or somewhere else obscure. Then we have 2 MGS. MG2 is directly connected to the front tires through gears and axles, and the ring gear of the planetary set is connected to the front tires directly as well. So, front tires turn, so does the ring gear. MG1 is connected to the sun gear. The ICE is connected to the planetary gearset. There is a controller that functions like a computer, and it can work the MGS. So, at low speeds with good life in the battery, MG2 runs the car, when more power is desired, MG1 comes to life and spins the ICE over and makes it start. Now the ICE is turning the planet carrier which in turn helps the ring turn easier, and takes load off of MG2. When foot is to the floor because someone in a Honda ricer wants to show you what for, the ICE and MG2 are both spinning with everything they got, meanwhile, MG1 is spinning backwards to improve the ratio for torque by slowing down the whole gearset through the sun gear. (Remember, high motor speed and low tire speed equals maximum torque.) As more speed is desired, MG1 slows down, and as it slows down it gradually is reducing the torque in exchange for more speed. When cruising, MG2 can do most of the driving work, while the ICE can turn MG1 to charge the battery. When coasting to a stop, the vehicle momentum means MG2 is being turned by the tires, and therefore making electricity which it sends to the battery. ICE and MG1 immediately shut off when not needed and then come back on when driving again. Ultimately, when you study the way a planetary gearset can be manipulated if you have a motor for each of the 3 basic pieces, the sun, planet carrier, and ring, then you can see how this system is a CVT.  This system is generally deemed an improvement because, 1. The efficiency and power numbers compared to equivalent normal cars speak for itself, and 2. It is actually simpler than a regular transmission, fewer gears, fewer moving parts, no clutches. SO probably more reliable.

Extra innovations: 

When doing AWD, Toyota doesn't need to build a system of gears and clutches to carry power to the rear tires, they can just put another electric motor back there and call it MG3, it functions in the same way as MG2. 

In Lexus, Toyota put a 4 speed automatic behind the hybrid system, this serves as a fully automatic Range Gear system to give the car more torque on one extreme, and more speed on the other. 

Downsides:

Although this system seems to be more durable than a normal front drive car, it appears to still not be as robust as a rear drive transmission for towing and off-roading. Toyota has not been willing to put it in a pickup or off-road SUV. However, Toyota is a conservative company and that may be coming. 

Part 3, The Hydraulic Innovation:

In the tractor world there have been 2 main transmissions dominating the space. If you wanted to mow or use PTO, a hydro was a better choice because you could set the engine rpm where you wanted it to run the mower at the speed you wanted and then drive the tractor at the speed you wanted as well. This type is very common in the compact category. Problem is, when towing heavy things like plows or cultivators, then the hydro drive overheats and cries uncle! If ignored and not allowed to cool, it makes a steamy expensive messy repair for your entertainment. A gear drive could pull till the cows came home or the engine stalled no problem, but, if you wanted to mow, once the mower speed was set, you had to just make do with whatever speed the tractor drove based on the gear it was in. Enter Fendt, a planetary gear set. A hydro pump on the ring gear, the ICE on the planet carrier, and the hydro motor on the rear tires and the sun. So, whenever the rear tires turn, the sun and hydro motor turn as well. When the ICE is turning the planet carrier, either the sun, or the ring have to turn, one of them MUST turn, so, at first, the ring turns the hydro pump, then the hydro pump turns the hydro motor, and presto we have a hydro tractor, but, as load is applied, more and more power gets sent out through the sun gear, and presto, we have a gear drive tractor. So, the tractor runs along, switching between pure hydro, a mixture of the 2, and pure gear as the situation calls for it, and it all works seamlessly because the power flows through the path of least resistance. It really is the ultimate in tractor technology. It has 2 ratios, one for field, and one for transport. 

Extra Innovations:

Yanmar/Bosch, New Holland/ZF have found a way to make the machine send more power through the gear side in order to make it more efficient, they do this by making the hydro help reach the top speed by spinning the planetary faster. This means pure gear drive is in the middle of the speed range instead of at the top. The Yanmar/Bosch system is designed to fit in compact tractors and has 3 ratios instead of 2 like Fendt. The New Holland/ZF system has added a 4 speed powershift transmission in the back to give it 4 ratios that are automatically selected by the machine. Deutz has a system that splits the difference and tries to give the smoothness of Fendt with the torque of New Holland, it is new so I don't know as much about it yet. If your tractor brand of choice has a CVT, and is not named here, it probably is using the ZF version of the New Holland system, if it's a brand in the AGCO family, it is using the Fendt version, since Fendt is an AGCO company. 

Downsides: 

None of this type of transmission seem to have been used in the automotive space for whatever reason, perhaps efficiency problems at high speeds, so it's not available in a truck, yet. 

The reliability looks to be ok, but it's hard to believe it will be better than an old school manual. 

COST!! Ever priced a Fendt? 

To get a better visual aid to understand how the speed varies, watch this video from AGCO. When watching it to learn about Toyota, imagine the hydro motors/pumps being replaced by electric motors, and you have the basic idea. Ultimately, I would love to have one of these trainers to play with to learn more about how it works myself, to help visualize it. This trainer replicates Toyota's system, for Fendt's mentally replace the electric motors with hydraulic pumps and motors. Watch it here. It is remarkable that a car company from Japan and a tractor company from Germany both converged on the same brilliant engineering solution! One with a electric and gas power combination, and the other with a diesel and hydraulic power combination. The principle of operation remains mostly the same. Then, the New Holland/ZF and Lexus systems operate in very much the same way as well. 

To gain clarification or to correct my explanation on any point, feel free to reach out and contact me directly. 

Surrendering Our Margins

 In the last chapter, we defined meekness. In this chapter we will look at surrendering the things that get in the way of the Lord's meek nature. The Holy Spirit within you will strive to make you meek, but it does require you to think intentionally about the areas of your life where you have power that may need to be controlled. Remember, true biblical meekness is not just control, it is power under control. See the previous chapter for more details. This character trait of the Lord does not have a true opposite, more precisely, it has many potential opposites, Aggression could be a potential opposite if you are a muscle bound bodybuilder and someone irritates you so much that you feel like punching them in the head. You control yourself because you really truly believe that it would be wrong to give them a concussion with your power. That would be meekness, the opposite of that meekness in this instance would be unbridled aggression. In this case, the bodybuilder as a born again believer would surrender this aggression by embracing the Lord's nature of meekness through the Holy Spirit, over time, he would become a gentle, kind, and caring man with incredible physical power to defend the weak, and work hard on their behalf. That is a niche example though. This chapter is called "Surrendering Our Margins". Why? Because margins are those spaces in between what we are doing and what we could do. If a recreational runner does a 5k in 30 minutes for her morning workout, but could do it in 25 minutes, that 5 minute space between the 25 and the 30 is her margin. The reason to leave that margin in this case would probably have to do with staying rested up for something bigger and more important later that she might need that leg strength for. Such as a job that requires her to be on her feet all day. So, it's her power, i.e. her speed, that gave her the ability to have a margin. The decision to have a 5 minute margin was control, so with a combination of power (speed) and control (having a 5 minute margin), she demonstrated biblical meekness in her exercise. In a successful business, there is an element of meekness at work, because there is a margin after expenses, and that margin is called net profit. (The little green sliver in the pie chart.) So, we want to look at letting the Lord have our margins and advising us on what to do with those margins. We all have power in different areas, physically, emotionally, and mentally, so I hope that you will be able to see your own life through this and allow the Lord to shine on the areas in your life that have un-surrendered margins. 

 Most of you reading this are in a western country and hold a job, if you are in that category, then this means that you probably have a certain power with a certain level of margin in it. Because this is a power almost all of us share, this is the power I want to really focus on for the rest of this chapter. What is that power? It is the power of money, wealth, or to put it better, financial resources, the power to shove so many green papers at a problem that people address that problem for you. The power to walk into a store with a credit card, and leave the store with all the items you went in for. Well, the Lord said, the meek will inherit the earth, so, what does that mean? It actually means what it says. Now, I am not giving a prosperity gospel message here. I am not giving a dogmatic lecture about the do's and don'ts of debt, money, investing, and credit cards, for that, see Dave Ramsey. I am wanting to look at surrendering margins to the Lord, very specifically. If the margins in your finances are surrendered to the Lord then, you will be blessed by the Lord. How will your blessing look? I don't know. Will you be wealthy? Maybe. Will you be poor? Maybe. Will the Lord bless you for surrendering the margin to Him? Yes. How? I don't know. The point is, the Lord is right, always, no matter what, will the meek inherit the earth? Yes. How? I don't know. When you surrender all your margins to the Lord, does that make a you a "blessed meek person" who will inherit your share of the earth? Yes! When you try to make yourself meek, are you? No! The Lord is the source of true meekness, so as humans, not going to the source, we can only manifest meek tendencies in certain times and ways. What does inheriting your share of the earth look like for you specifically? I don't know.... This thing of not knowing the answer to all these questions on my part might be frustrating, but I want to make a strong point right here and now, write in granite, and remember it. DO NOT DO SOMETHING FOR THE LORD'S BLESSING!! Do it for the Lord, for He is right. By doing, we mean, surrendering, and renewing. Remember, you alone, by yourself cannot be meek, you can merely act meek, sometimes. 

 Ok, so let's be "sort of" practical, Fredrick Trabajador works hard. He has a job that pays him $5000 per month. The Lord gave him this job. The Lord is providing for him with this job. Fred attends church and calls himself a Christian but he never gives to much thought to it. He wonders why he has to work so hard. He decides to buy a new car, a Toyota would be fine, but a BMW would be nicer, it costs $100'000. Fred's credit is good, so he signs the payment paperwork. He decides to buy a larger home with a lot of acreage, a real midwestern ranch. It's $1'000'000. His credit is good, and his banker likes him. They make a deal. A friend shows him a movie from the last Bassmasters at his local lake, their boats, so shiny, so fast, so cool. They cost $80'000. Fred's credit is good, and you know the rest. Fred decides his old 2010 truck looks out of place in front of that boat. He sees that Ford makes a Limited version of their F150, and its chock full of the latest and greatest technology, the interior is almost as nice as his BMW. Its a $90'000 truck, but, Fred's credit is good... 

 In the same town, there is a man named Billson Saktmod. He has a job that pays him $4000 per month. He sees this job as a gift from the Lord. The Lord is his passion, and who he lives for, he likes to consider himself a son, and a disciple of the Lord. He knows that the Lord has put him in the middle of a hurting word, in this specific time and way, so he seeks the Lord on who he is, and what his calling is. He prays about his finances, and decides the Lord would have him diffuse it in several categories. His church is doing well at community outreach and Kingdom work, he trusts them with money, so he commits to giving them 10% a month as a tithe. Then he establishes a giving fund for general acts of generosity, and puts about 5% of his income in there. He sets back 10% in a savings for emergencies, and big purchases. He sets aside 25% of his income every month into investments, and then sees that 50% is left, and after praying with his wife, he realizes that in this small town if they are frugal, they can easily live on the $2000 per month, especially with the savings fund on standby for big items. Bill is thoughtful and calculating, and yes, even prayerful with every purchase he makes. He drives nice vehicles, has a nice medium sized home, and has a little debt, but he never did anything without feeling peace from the Lord about the matter. The years go by, and Bill finds himself with enough investments to live on, he thinks back to his childhood, how his father died in a horrible accident when he was 2, and his grandpa fathered him, showed him the Lord's ways, and played that key role of father in his life. He thinks of all the fatherless boys out there and his heart aches. 

 The economy crashes, unemployment sky rockets. Billson no longer has a job with all his investments, so he spends his time raising funds and giving money to those who are impacted by this crisis. One day at the bank he is told that they had repoed a very nice boat, a lightly used ford truck, and a million dollar ranch. He sees a vision of this ranch being filled with boys, and men who are worthy father figures to them, he prays, and dips into saving, investing, and giving funds to make a down payment and buys it all from the bank for half of what it would normally be worth, and sets it up on a very low payment plan with the goal towards making it self sustaining with proceeds from donations and crops. He remembers how much he loved when his grandpa took him fishing, and decides to take the boat and then he also takes the truck as well for a full time ranch vehicle for the manager to use for all the ranch needs. Now he needs the Lord to just show him the right manager....

 10 years later, the boys' ranch is a huge success, and Bill has a very competent manager. For when he left the bank that day 10 years ago, he met another man, in tears, pacing, and so Bill stopped and spoke with him. This man was desperate, he had lost his job, and with no cash flow, and no reserves in money (margins) he had lost everything. Bill prayed with him, and the man committed himself to the Lord as a disciple, and not just a Christian. The men met weekly for a time, Bill made sure his needs were met, and so it was, that Bill hired a truly humble and broken man who had given up on doing things by himself, and was therefore qualified for the position. Also, he was familiar with everything about the ranch, boat, and truck, for, this stuff used to all be "his." He was Fredrick Trabajador. 

 So, I hope this story is an extreme, but I do wish to highlight a few things here. Billson gave his margins to the Lord. Fredrick never paid attention to his margins and therefore used them all on the things he wanted. Those things, the earth as it were, ended up in Billson's possession. Did Billson "inherit the earth"? Yes. Is that how your inheritance will look? I have no idea. Does it matter how it looks? No, for taking on the Lord's meekness and surrendering our margins is blessing enough, for, again, and always forevermore, the LORD'S WAYS ARE RIGHT!! Are you willing to sit down and talk with the Lord about your margins, ALL your margins? Are you even willing to let the Lord show you margins that your ignoring or don't even know about? Then, are you willing to surrender all, ALL of those margins to the Lord, who gave them to you in the first place? I hope that you do not take a blueprint out of this, the Lord showed Bill that he had a 50% margin in his finances, and Bill leveraged that for the Lord, because the Holy Spirit had been given the job of managing them. Perhaps the Lord would show you that you only have a 5% margin. If your someone who is truly meek, know the Lord's promises are kept, but your "inheritance of the earth" may happen in the span of eternity, like Abraham's promise about a great nation from his generations, when it came true at that time Moses and Israel marched out of Egypt, Abraham was living in eternity. So, the example I used about Billson, and his inheritance from the Lord, was used because it is a physical and present example that I can understand this side of eternity. Do I expect my inheritance to look like that because I am working on surrendering my own margins? No, not really, but I am not looking at my inheritance, rather, I'm trying not to, I want to put on the Lord's meekness, and trust Him with what happens afterwards. Be truly meek by simply allowing the Holy Spirit to manage all the margins in your life, and you will find yourself being truly meek in the nature of the Lord Jesus Christ. 

This has been chapter 7 of Surrender!? To Who? 

This same basic message can be found here in video form by the author. 

Defining Meekness

 The Lord continued His sermon, He said, "Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth." Whoa! Meek? Inherit the earth? What? How? Well, for one thing meekness today doesn't mean the same as biblical meekness. Hopefully by the end of this chapter, we will understand biblical meekness. So meekness today as seen as weakness, or shyness, but this is not the biblical meekness Jesus spoke of. Matthew used the word "praus" to describe what Jesus said. Praus is a greek word that refers to a character trait. This character trait requires 2 main ingredients, 1. power, and 2. control. Modern "meekness" is only control. It can mean being controlled by fear and therefore not acting on what you want to do, or it can mean being weak and therefore easy to control and other things. From now on in this chapter, unless otherwise noted, I will be speaking of praus when I use the word meekness. There is a true story from world war 2 that illustrates the nature of true authentic Christlike meekness better than any other way I know to describe apart from Christ Himself.

 Franz Stigler sat at an airport base, he was a fighter pilot for Germany, and it was world war 2. Franz was an ace, he had been credited with 27 victory points. Some of these were 4 engine American bombers, which pay 3 victory points each because of how well defended they were and how hard they were to knock out of the sky. Franz had not gone home with his squad, he had landed here for fuel. He was only 3 points away from the prestigious Knight's cross award. He wanted to get back up there and knock out another bomber. Even though there was a bullet in his plane's radiator, he would go back up.

 Charlie Brown sat in his cockpit, fiddling with his throttles, he was an American bomber pilot, flying a 4 engine bomber plane called Ye Old Pub. He had gotten separated from his squad and then German fighters had ganged up on him. He knocked down a few of them but they had riddled his plane with bullet holes and destroyed the tail section. Only one engine was running right, one engine was dead, and the other 2 were hit and miss. The tail gunner had died when his section was destroyed. Most of the guns were out of action. Another gunner was bleeding and needed medical attention. Then another bullet came and knocked out the oxygen supply. Charlie and his co-pilot passed out. Ye Old Pub went into a dive. Down went the pub, below the clouds, 10'000, 9'000, 8'000, 7'000, 6'000, 5000....and at some point, with oxygen rich air Charlie regained consciousness, he woke his co-pilot and they fought the controls. The Pub leveled off just in time as it's engines blew the leaves from the trees. The German people in the town just below gazed up at them in amazement. His navigator found the closest course to England and the wounded pub flew along, low to the ground and very slow, right over an airport base. 

  Franz Stigler's plane was just about finished when suddenly, an American bomber roared just overhead! Franz jumped in and took off. He caught up with the plane and saw the bomber with the words Ye Old Pub on it's front. He saw the nose section was shot up and open to the outside, he saw the sides had so many bullet holes in it that he could see through it and see the crew attending to their wounded. He saw the tail section was destroyed, the gunner there was dead, he saw one of the rear wings was shot off. He flew alongside the Pub and their wings overlapped, he looked in at the pilots, they stared back like they knew their time had come. Something welled up in Franz, he found himself unable to shoot. He tried to communicate with the pilots through hand signals, they refused to land and surrender. So he flew with the Pub, when they came to flak guns, he pulled out so that the German gunners on the ground could see his plane, and would hold their fire, it worked. He flew out into the Atlantic with the Pub. When an American gunner onboard the Pub, pointed a gun at him, he saluted, and left. 

  Franz went on to shoot down many more planes, but he stopped counting victory points, it no longer mattered. Now he was just trying to protect the German people from the bombs. He survived the war. Charlie flew more missions, and also survived the war. He never forgot the German and wondered why, why was he still alive? The men found each other, and Franz found in Charlie another brother, Franz's own brother had died in an accident while taking off in a German bomber. However now, late in life, in Charlie Brown who he had spared at a time when the American did not have anyway of defending himself, he found another brother. 

 In this case Franz had tremendous power, a fast Messerschmitt in his control, he had been to Africa, he had killed many pilots, this guy was bad news, an extremely efficient and fast killer, like a shark in the sky. He specialized in swooping in with tremendous and terrifying speed, shooting the enemy out of the sky then wheeling and retreating into the clouds. However on this day, with such a colossal power advantage and 3 victory points right there in front of him, like a bowl of ice cream, he couldn't and wouldn't shoot! Why not? Meekness, he controlled his power, now was not the time to kill, now was the time to leverage power to protect the week.

 The Lord Jesus lived meekness, how would He come? On a shiny magic horse with 10'000 angels just because, well, He could. No! Now was not the time, this time it was time to come like any other human, but, unlike most, let's be born in a barn. To ride into Jerusalem, as the Lord God almighty with fiery chariots and angelic hosts? No....To ride as a human VIP, in a chariot with nice horses and security detail? No....The time was right to ride into Jerusalem on a little donkey. So, He did. The earth had a huge sin problem, use power to vanquish humanity and all it's sin from the earth? No! Pay the price to redeem that humanity instead. This meant not using the vast power of Heaven to protect Himself from the cross. That power stood at hand, with one signal, the entire empire, the entire world could be destroyed, and He would be out of there, but no, He decided to restrain that power and only use the power of suffering, death, and resurrection. Why? Because, Redemption, and this is why we surrender. So, the real meekness is having power and using it in a controlled, kind, and ethical way. The only way to reliably live this way is to take on the nature of Christ. In the next chapter we will discuss the surrender element of this. There is a sermon version of this subject if you care to watch it. 

This has been chapter 6 of Surrender!? To Who?

Surrendering Sorrow

 As you may have gathered in the last 2 chapters, we are slowly working our way through the first portion of Matthew 5. So now we pick up that endeavor on verse 4: "Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted." Jesus Christ had given the strong admonition about being poor in spirit, and then this was the next thing He said in His message. This statement can be taken at face value, that is, if you are grieving, you are blessed, for you will be comforted. So for this chapter, I will use mourning and grieving interchangeably as the mood strikes. "Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted." Let's let that statement sit in our mind for a bit while we pull together some loose ends to explain the theme of surrender in this. 

 He was known as quiet Cal as a grown man, for he rarely ever spoke. His father was quiet too. His father treated words like a box of fine chocolates, and Cal noticed how his father's quiet manner was actually a strength in town meetings, he rarely got himself in a verbal corner, and when he spoke, people listened. Cal became even quieter than his father. At age 12, tragedy struck Cal's life, his mother died of tuberculosis, there was sadness, but no crying, the time came for Cal and his father to see his mother one last time. In that sad moment, his father simply said, "Don't cry." Cal didn't cry. Later, his sister died, and again no crying. He grew into a man who was known as irritable, melancholy, and difficult to be around. The young man graduated college and entered politics. He also got married and had 2 sons. He gradually rose in power and eventually became the 30th president of the United States. Calvin Coolidge was a fiscal conservative who balanced the budget, and led the nation into a prosperous time. There were faults of course, he didn't do anything to prevent the great depression, and he wasn't a very effective leader during the natural disasters that occurred during his tenure, but he was a bit of a conservative hero in the republican party, business was good, and the government actually had fiscal responsibility! Disaster struck the Coolidge family again. One of his sons got blood poisoning and died. Calvin sat by his son's bed, quiet, clutching a locket in his hand. In that locket was a picture of his mother who had died all those years ago, and a lock of her hair. His boy was dying, he pressed the locket into his son's hand, as the boy slipped into eternity, the locket fell from his hand. The president and first lady were plunged into deep depression, and yet he never truly grieved. It was during this presidency that he became known for taking long naps, at times only leaving himself 4 hour work days. He was unable to find joy in things, he blamed himself for every little thing that went wrong. There was no spark in his life, his wife struggled through all this and had an affair. Then he shocked the country and the republican party by announcing that he no longer wished to be president and would not seek reelection, and so he quietly slipped into private life, to be mostly forgotten. 

 In the very nature of sorrow, there is a "gethsemane" to go to. A place to grieve, to weep, to reflect, and to lay it all down. When you get to gethsemane, you have a choice. You can trade your sorrow by mourning and receive the Lord's comfort, or you can keep it by simply feeling sorrow for yourself, raging against the injustice, and vowing what you will do about it, and in this way, you get to keep your sorrow and never truly grieve, or mourn. Perhaps something so egregious has happened that this "gethsemane" needs to be visited again and again, ok, but in each visit, there is a choice, to surrender the sorrow for comfort by mourning or to keep it and let it rot. Then you also have the choice that Calvin Coolidge made, to never go to "gethsemane" and to let the sorrows pile up and eat his life away, from the inside out.

 On the other extreme, there is the case in history of the "other Adolf." He was a small thin man, looked down on, and regarded as a bit worthless. He wanted to be somebody though, so when he read of a new political movement seeking "justice" for Germany, and he saw a racist narrative that he was allowed to participate in, he jumped. This was his chance, his chance to be someone, to show the world that he was an important man not to be messed with. Sure, he had to kill a few people, but so what, this sorrow, pain, and disappointment that he had been nurturing all these years now had fully ripened and was properly rotten. So he did become known, as Adolf Eichmann, one of the key people involved in the holocaust, he used his gifts in organization to devastating effect in rounding up Jews into ghettos and then sending them off to concentration camps. By his own estimation, the program had 5-6 million victims. So, whatever sorrow he had, he didn't accept comfort for it. He allowed it to rot, and became a monster. 

 These are 2 very stark and dark extremes of what happens when comfort is declined. On the one hand, we had Calvin Coolidge, a generally decent man who never allowed himself to mourn, so he ignored the sorrow, and let it rot. On the other, we have Adolf Eichmann, a man who believe it or not was raised in a protestant Christian home, and yet, whatever sorrow he experienced, he held the sorrow, and let it rot. 

 So, here is the surrender element in this verse, "Blessed are they that mourn, for they shall be comforted". When sorrow comes, when something very bitter and hard to bear is experienced. Go to the "gethsemane" of your heart and weep, call out to the Lord, let it out, and then the Lord will comfort you. Let Him take your sorrow and give you comfort instead. In other words, you have a choice, you can refuse to acknowledge the sorrow and never mourn, or you can keep and tend to the sorrow in your own way, or you can accept the comfort for the sorrow by mourning to the Lord. Be honest with yourself, and with the Lord about what happened, about how you feel, and then lay it down, take the comfort and walk away. If sorrow comes to you again, even if it comes from the same pain as before, mourn to the Lord again. Mourning is essentially the way to surrender the sorrow to the Lord. 

 So what is rotten grief? Well, sorrow is kind of like a bitter fruit, it may not be tasty on it's own, but, if you give it to the Lord, He takes it from you, and gives you comfort, then, He uses that fruit to develop you into a purer image of Him. Rotten grief is like the bitter fruit after it has been sitting so long that it turned brown, mushy and generally disgusting, bitterness, depression etc. are the forms of rotten sorrow. Many times, we think our sorrow won't rot, and in so doing we become the very thing we detest so much in other people, bitter, vengeful, sullen, depressed etc. When you meet someone with "rotten sorrow fruit", pray for them, and care for them, allow the Lord to place you on standby to help them mourn when the time is right. 

 Gethsemane, is that place where you feel in your soul all the pain, you live through the pain again there, and most times the tears come. We have all been there, when emotional pain took us to such a level that we wept. What I am advocating for is, embrace that, go there with the Lord, but don't live there. Go there and let the Lord comfort you. The Lord wants to comfort you. Yet the Lord wants you to also live an abundant life, and not to build a little hut with a pool of tears in Gethsemane. Of course, Jesus, went to Gethsemane, and there He called to His father, He expressed the pain of what would happen, for He knew the future, and then when the time was come, He got up, and walked straight into His destiny, there was torture in His destiny, but there was also resurrection. So my question for us made in the image of God is 2fold. 1, Are you willing to go to your gethsemane? 2, Are you willing to leave your gethsemane? 

 Comfort, is the Lord's gift to those who are honest enough to grieve. He gives grace, and fills the void, He redeems loss, at times physically. True comfort resolves and restores in an indescribable way for it comes from an indescribable Lord. 

 This has been the 5th chapter of an eBook about surrender, the main page and other chapters can be found by clicking here.